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Thanks for posting. Hadn’t seen this before either: https://usatodayhss.com/2018/bergen-catholic-wrestling-sex-abuse/amp

 

Some of those texts were definitely a little strange to say the least.

 

Although I’m a little confused about why he was kicked off the team to begin with? The articles don’t seem to go into much detail about that. The only thing it seems to imply is that it was because of emails the dad sent? And if he was kicked off the team, why would they care if he transferred?

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Just reading the texts seems a little funny, but we don't know many things about them. We don't know the context, we don't know the relationship between the kid and coach, we don't know if the kid was having a rough time and needed a little encouragement that things are going to be fine. Texts especially can be interpreted a thousand different ways.

 

There is a lot more to this whole story that isn't being told and we will never get the full truth.

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On 9/11/2018 at 10:13 PM, Billyhoyle said:

Is the guy who sent those texts still a coach at BC?

 

Yes.  Now BC is trying to ban the kid from wrestling at another school this year, even though they kicked him off the team.  This story is so weird.  Seems like sour grapes at this point, or just a ploy to get him to drop the lawsuit.

 

https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/columnists/mike-kelly/2018/11/14/bergen-catholic-nj-bid-ban-wrestler-paramus-nj-season-delayed-sexual-harassment-abuse/2000787002/

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15 hours ago, 1032004 said:

 

Yes.  Now BC is trying to ban the kid from wrestling at another school this year, even though they kicked him off the team.  This story is so weird.  Seems like sour grapes at this point, or just a ploy to get him to drop the lawsuit.

 

https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/columnists/mike-kelly/2018/11/14/bergen-catholic-nj-bid-ban-wrestler-paramus-nj-season-delayed-sexual-harassment-abuse/2000787002/

How do people trust their kids with the man who sent those texts?  Has he denied being the person who sent them? 

Is this common now, for coaches/teachers to text students?  Shouldn't communication be through e-mail?

Edited by Billyhoyle

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8 hours ago, Gantry said:

Nobody under 25 checks email unless a job forces them to.  Like ever...   Schedule changes, sudden news etc is infinitely easier via text.

So high schoolers don’t have their emails synced with their smart phones? Maybe they need to use an app like slack that allows communication but can be done in an official manner. 

There shouldn’t be anything wrong with a coach texting his athletes, but I think a smart school policy would be to ban it and ensure all digital communication goes through official channels. 

 

The content of these texts though are the real problem..I don’t get how he is still coaching given what I read, unless those reports are in dispute. 

Edited by Billyhoyle

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On 12/22/2018 at 5:01 PM, Billyhoyle said:

So high schoolers don’t have their emails synced with their smart phones? Maybe they need to use an app like slack that allows communication but can be done in an official manner. 

There shouldn’t be anything wrong with a coach texting his athletes, but I think a smart school policy would be to ban it and ensure all digital communication goes through official channels. 

 

The content of these texts though are the real problem..I don’t get how he is still coaching given what I read, unless those reports are in dispute. 

While they appear a bit obsessive when taken out of context, telling an athlete you love them isn't a fire-able offense. Its weirder to make the use of the word love into a sexual thing and claim its sexual harassment. 

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3 hours ago, Relentless125 said:

While they appear a bit obsessive when taken out of context, telling an athlete you love them isn't a fire-able offense. Its weirder to make the use of the word love into a sexual thing and claim its sexual harassment. 

Are you seriously defending those texts? It’s not just that he said he loves his high school aged athlete. It’s the totality of the conversation and how creepy it is. How can that convo not be grounds to fire someone. 

1. “Young tony” 

2. “I missed you terribly today”

3. “ I faithfully ate the Manuka” (wtf?)

It is crazy that this guy is coaching high schoolers. You are ok with a coach talking to his athletes like this? 

Edited by Billyhoyle

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On 12/24/2018 at 4:53 AM, gimpeltf said:

Have you talked to any of his kids? They wear shirts saying Dave Bell is my homey. 

No. I don’t know anyone involved and am making my judgements completely based on the content of those texts. Do you think them wearing those shirts supersedes the creepiness or the texts? 

Edited by Billyhoyle

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20 minutes ago, Billyhoyle said:

No. I don’t know anyone involved and am making my judgements completely based on the content of those texts. Do you think them wearing those shirts supersedes the creepiness or the texts? 

The obvious point is the other kids want him coaching them. And this goes back for decades.

Creepiness is in the eye of the beholder. 

I admit the texts gave the family something specific to complain about and it's unusual but this all came up after he lost the subsequent wrestle-off. They would have found something to pick on anyway.

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1 hour ago, gimpeltf said:

The obvious point is the other kids want him coaching them. And this goes back for decades.

Creepiness is in the eye of the beholder. 

I admit the texts gave the family something specific to complain about and it's unusual but this all came up after he lost the subsequent wrestle-off. They would have found something to pick on anyway.

“Creepiness is in the eye of the beholder”-really??? You don’t think his actions are objectively wrong?  I don’t think texting your high school athlete that you miss him, love him, and that the room isn’t the same without him can be interpreted in any other way.

 

It really doesn’t matter what the majority of people think of the coach. The point is his inappropriate behavior with an individual child (I would say alleged but the texts themselves are wrong). The way predators operate is to gain favor with the majority and then target somebody he perceives as vulnerable. 

I am in the camp of innocent until proven guilty when it comes to allegations-but the texts are not being disputed. And the timing of when the kid came forward with the texts, or the motivation/character of his father, do not change their content. 

Edited by Billyhoyle

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3 hours ago, gimpeltf said:

The obvious point is the other kids want him coaching them. And this goes back for decades.

Creepiness is in the eye of the beholder. 

I admit the texts gave the family something specific to complain about and it's unusual but this all came up after he lost the subsequent wrestle-off. They would have found something to pick on anyway.

So what is the story about how he got kicked off the team anyway?   Most of what I read seems to be blaming the father, was the kid allegedly at fault too?

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18 minutes ago, 1032004 said:

So what is the story about how he got kicked off the team anyway?   Most of what I read seems to be blaming the father, was the kid allegedly at fault too?

I posted an article Friday giving somewhat the school/Bell side. Just scroll up from here.

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1 hour ago, gimpeltf said:

I posted an article Friday giving somewhat the school/Bell side. Just scroll up from here.

Yes that was part of what I was referring to.  Pretty much everything in there seems to be due to the father.   The only thing I’ve seen about the kid himself is an alleged argument/fight or something with a different wrestler. 

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On 9/11/2018 at 10:13 PM, Billyhoyle said:

Is the guy who sent those texts still a coach at BC?

 

Apparently he was named "Educator of the year" a few months after the lawsuit was filed.

Some updates and new claims: https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/columnists/mike-kelly/2019/01/08/bergen-catholic-wrestling-former-wrestler-fights-place-mat/2466960002/

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