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TobusRex

What would have happened at NCAAs this year....

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In light of the fact that NCAAs have been canceled, and the massive amount of teeth-gnashing on this board, I have decided to gift you all, courtesy of my vast psionic powers (ahem), with what the results WOULD HAVE BEEN if the tournament had actually been wrestled. Bear in mind my psychic abilities aren't perfect: my 911 prediction was off by 3 days (I made the prediction in 1983, at my HS graduation speech).  3 chickens were slaughtered and Baron Samedi himself helped me insure the results posted below are accurate. 

125 Spencer Lee and Nick Piccininni meet in the finals. Lee and Picc in the middle. Referee blows the whistle, and Picc immediately hits an ankle pick on Lee's left leg. He elevates and a foot sweep brings Lee down. Picc flattens Lee and applies a double chicken wing, and starts walking it around....Lee is stubborn but begins to turn. Finally Lee is on his back, Picc applies a figure 4 to Lee's neck and elevates. Piccininni by fall in 25 seconds!!! Nick Piccininni is this years NCAA champion at 125!!

133 Sebastian Rivera and Austin DeSanto meet in the finals. This is the 2nd match in a row featuring a Hawkeye.  The action starts with an outside singleleg attempt by Rivera, he's in deep...DeSanto hits the whizzer and Rivera steps back and drops DeSanto on his back. He's got two, and the ref is counting. We're up to 3 swipes when DeSanto gets back to his base, Rivera 5-0. DeSanto sits out, but Rivera catches him with double hooks and holds him for 2 more swipes! Rivera 7-0! DeSanto rolls and separates for the escape! 7-1! He charges Rivera, Rivera steps aside and comes in from the side as DeSanto passes. Grabbing him around the waist Rivera elevates, and dumps DeSanto for 2 more! Rivera finishes the period with a rideout and a 9-1 lead. Second period and DeSanto, oddly, picks top. The referees blows the whistle and...I can't believe it...DeSanto has PUNCHED RIVERA IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! The referee immediately stops the match and DeSanto has been disqualified from this tournament!!! The Hawkeyes will get no points at 133!

141 An unexpected finals matchup.  Dylan Droegemeuller (NDSU) has, unexpectedly, pinned his way to the finals. Nick Lee from PSU has made the finals after 2 major decisions and 2 falls. They shake hands, and the ref blows the whistle. Lee working off the collar tie....and Lee hits a headlock!! Droege...Dragon...Dregg....whoever he is, he's on his back. And it's over! Lee by fall in 47 seconds!! PSU's first champ this year!

149 We've got Sammy Sasso vs Boo Lewallen here. Boo pinned Pat Lugo while trailing 14-9 late in the 3rd period. And we're off: Sasso trying to lock up, Boo keeping him at length....Boo changing levels, going to one knee. Sasso tries to horse him over, but Boo gets underneath and gets a leg....he elevates, but Sasso reacts and breaks away. No more action in period 1, which ends 0-0. Boo chooses down. After 3 seconds Boo is up and away. He squares with Sammy, and Boo hits Sasso with an arm drag, dropping to Sammy's right leg. He's in like a tick, but Sasso hits a nasty crossface. And we have a blood stoppage. Boo's nose is bleeding. While they are working on Boo it's time for a commercial message. 

 

And we're back at 149 pounds. Boo leads 1-0. No further scoring in the 2nd period. 3rd period Sasso takes down. Sasso tries a standup off the whistle, but Boo gets the arm bar and slams Sasso back to the mat. Boo is using the Tulsa Ride on the talented freshman. Sasso trying to recover, but Boo is working. He's got the arm bar again and he's trying for a tilt. He's got it! Boo getting 4 swipes....and there's the fall! Boo Lewallen is your 149 pound NCAA champ with a pin in the 3rd period! 

157 Kaleb Young has unexpectedly made it to the finals for the Iowa Hawkeyes, where he'll be facing Hayden Hidlay of North Carolina State. Young had a big upset over Ryan Deakin in the quarterfinals with a 2-1 SV-1 win. The wrestlers shake hands....but action doesn't commence. The referee calls over the Iowa coaches. Young is walking to the scorer's table. I don't know what's happening here. I see Brands nodding his head....and he and Young walk off the mat and in the direction of the locker room. We'll be back after a word from our sponsors. 

 

And welcome back from the break. We've learned that Kaleb Young has been disqualified from the tournament for "being too damn ugly". That's the word from Tom Brands. The heavily favored Hawkeyes chances seem to be dimming with 2 wrestlers disqualified, freakishly, in the finals. Hayden Hidlay is your 2020 NCAA champ at 157 pounds! 

165 We have Travis Wittlake from Oklahoma State matching up with Vincenzo Joseph in the finals. Wittlake upset Alex Marinelli in the semi-finals as the Bull continued his streak of NCAA futility. And we're off....Wittlake and Joseph locked in a collar tie....both men going upper body...and Wittlake hits the lat drop!! Joseph is on his back!! 2 swipes, 3 swipes.....and Joseph is back on his belly. Wittlake trying to ride, but Joseph manages to get away.  5-1 Wittlake. Joseph in on a nice double! Wittlake is down! And the period ends with Wittlake holding a 5-3 edge. And we start the second...Wittlake chooses neutral, and the ref blows his whistle. Wittlake goes high, trying double underhooks.....Joseph trying the same thing. Joseph straightens him up and bulls him over for the fall! Vincenzo is a 3 time NCAA champion!

174 Dylan Lydy from Purdue vs Ben Harvey from the US ****ing ARMY in the finals!! The action begins! Off the buzzer the wrestlers seem tentative....no offensive action seen from Lydy, so Harvey takes a shot with 10 seconds to go in the period....he's got the leg...and he drops Lydy at the buzzer! Harvey 2-0! In the second period Lydy takes down. Off the whistle Lydy hits a sweet reversal to tie things up!! Lydy working from the top, and Harvey flattened out. Harvey not making any progress, and the ref warns him for stalling. Harvey makes it to his base, and starts to stand up. Lydy drops to the leg....and he's held on too long! 1 pt Harvey! Score going in to the 3rd is 3-2, but Lydy has 1:56 of RT.  Harvey chooses down. Off the whistle Harvey hits the standup, pops his hips out, and separates for 1 point! 4-2,  with 1:45 left in the match. Lydy is trying to get something going up top, but Harvey is controlling that Lydy's wrist. Harvey tries to his a fireman's carry using that wrist, but is stopped in his tracks. Lydy trying to bull him over, but Harvey switches to a single leg and holds on for dear life. And the time expires. Ben Harvey is NCAA champion at 174 pounds! 

184 Well this one is pretty easy to not get excited about since the best guy isn't even here. Who cares? (sigh)...alright, Bolen by decision. Whoop. 

197 And my psychic vision begins to dim....all I can see is Kollin Moore majoring his way to an NCAA title over Noah Adams 12-3. Maybe my vision will clear in a couple minutes. Stand by for the last message from our sponsors!!

 

HWT My vision is failing me.....pfft, it's gone. Consulting the Magic 8-ball: Gable wins it 7-2 over Cassioppi. 

Final team results: Penn State wins again, by 20 points over 2nd place Iowa. The snakebit Hawkeyes lost two finalists to disqualification after Spencer Lee was upset by Piccininni.  Now stay tuned for an important message from the President of the United States!

 

Edited by TobusRex

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^^^ Excellent Work - Post of the Year !  Very entertaining...and I have no doubt the results would be exactly as described if the event were to be allowed to proceed.

BTW, I was once convinced that I also had psionic powers like yours, Mr. TobusRex.  However, my doctor said it was actually an enlarged prostate.

Edited by HurricaneWrestling2

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DeSanto has PUNCHED RIVERA IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! The referee immediately stops the match and DeSanto has been disqualified from this tournament!!! The Hawkeyes will get no points at 133!   

First time I Iiterally laughed out LOUD at 6:30 in the morning!!!  What  a freaken visual!!!!

TRex - all I can say is I hope what ever it is you do for a living enables you to use your incredible imagination. If you speak among friends and family the way you write here in this forum then you have to be one helluva pissa to hang around with!  On a more serious note, no one can ever question your love for this sport. You ARE the genuine article sir! 

Edited by Marcus Cisero

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**** Tobus: Great write up.  We will never know the real results.  It is truly a shame, but I guess health and safety must prevail.  174: Ben Harvey over Lydy?  I would think Kutler takes out Kemmerer in the Semis (by shutting down his straight on attacks using his center maintaining control and rides K out for over 3 minutes RT) and wins 4-1, to reach the Finals. Hall once again beats Lydy in the Semis.  Although I would love to see Jordan beat Hall, Mark Hall wins 5-4.

Edited by Cary by the Lake

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4 hours ago, TobusRex said:

In light of the fact that NCAAs have been canceled, and the massive amount of teeth-gnashing on this board, I have decided to gift you all, courtesy of my vast psionic powers (ahem), with what the results WOULD HAVE BEEN if the tournament had actually been wrestled. Bear in mind my psychic abilities aren't perfect: my 911 prediction was off by 3 days (I made the prediction in 1983, at my HS graduation speech).  3 chickens were slaughtered and Baron Samedi himself helped me insure the results posted below are accurate. 

Final team results: Penn State wins again, by 20 points over 2nd place Iowa. The snakebit Hawkeyes lost two finalists to disqualification after Spencer Lee was upset by Piccininni.  Now stay tuned for an important message from the President of the United States!

Well done tRex and looks like we can say Covid-19 saved Tommie B his job. ;)

PS: I'm really worried about mFlap, I'm sure he wants to be drowning in PBRs but with run on all the c-stores can he find any? 

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